Protected: I just can’t shake this…
19 Mar 2012 Enter your password to view comments.
You mean, it isn’t Friday?
28 Feb 2012 5 Comments
Today has had a weird vibe.
Classes were ok, nothing to talk about there. But, my supervisor came to see me – which never happens.
Then, Starbucks was really busy – again, never happens (this is country starbucks).
I then went to Gifu City, and had a doctor’s appointment, and met a friend for dinner.
All of this combined to make me feel like today was Friday. So, on the way home, I stopped at a convenience store and picked up a few chu-his (sugary alcoholic beverages). This lead to me watching cheesy tv and enjoying my drinks, thinking I didn’t have to get up tomorrow.
However… I suddenly realized it is not Friday. It is TUESDAY. I have to be up in 6 hours. eeeeeep! Night!
Things to look forward to…
27 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
- Cooking class with grade 9s!
- Tokyo/Osaka conference trip for SMUS (March 23-25)
- Kat’s arrival in Japan
- Kyushu spring break
- Gunma Golden Week
Spring is on its way! Woot!
Making decisions and sticking to them
21 Feb 2012 4 Comments
Title… not my strong point. I am very wishy washy. I often have great ideas, start on the path to doing whatever that idea is, and then give up because I get bored, it is too hard, etc. Recently, I have been thinking about throwing in the towel in regards to my decision to stay another year in Japan. It is hard to live here. I don’t live in Tokyo (not saying Tokyo life is easy), I live in the deep countryside of Japan. A place where my husband and I are the only foreigners for a long distance. Where people are ‘friends’ because they have the common bond of not being Japanese and nothing else. A place where you can run into someone you have met and spoken to before at a common place, say Starbucks or the foreign food store, and have them turn their back on you or ignore you for no reason other than them NOT wanting to share that common bond of being the only foreigners there. Which is of course just rude. Nothing makes me crazier than a supposed facebook friend who ignores you in person.
Anyway, I have been feeling kind of depressed about my life in Japan. A few too many times left out of events that I had originally been a part of the organizing, then left our of when the date was arranged… A few too many times planning things and never having the reciprocation… a few too many times being snubbed by coworkers, etc. I have very thin skin, and take things way to personally. That combined with John’s excitement over starting something new in Canada, has made me think that maybe I should be leaving in August. That maybe I am making a mistake.
On Saturday, I had a super depressed `Nobody likes me, guess I’ll go eat worms` day, after the tea lady served tea to everyone but me in the office. Yeah, I know, stupid, but it made me feel even more like the odd one out, and made me really feel sad. When I got home, I felt like crying and John asked me if I thought I could realistically survive a year here by myself. At first, I was really put out by that question, but realized he had a valid point. Can I? Tracey said to me that I did it before by myself for 3 years – but that was a long time ago. I was a different person, and didn’t have a person. My person. Now, my person is going to be on the other side of the world, and I am going to go from hanging out with him every day to seeing him for a few weeks at Christmas and Spring Break. Can I do it? Am I making a huge mistake? Today I love my job, but will I 6 months from now? A year? Hell, tomorrow?
I think that it will be good for me. Help me ‘toughen up’. I need to make a decision and stick to it for once in my life. This decision was made to pay off debt and I think I can make a sizable dent in it, for sure.
Sigh. I wish that I was still little and my mom could just tell me what to do. Mom?
Welcome to 1958
17 Feb 2012 1 Comment
I have lately been thinking, after readin Stephen King’s “11/22/63″ that Japan is not just a different country. It is a different time. No, not 18 hours ahead, but actually 55 years behind.
Yesterday, I received the following news: the super secret teacher dinner I was invited to was not just a “Happy Thursday” event. It was a secret goodbye party. The new school nurse, was forced to resign. Turns out, her boyfriend and her had SEX before marriage, and she got pregnant! Shocking! She has to leave in shame, due to a morality clause, and the principal and vice principal wouldn’t allow an official goodbye party.
Today, is her last day, and the principal followed her around while she put her goodbye gifts on people’s desk, checking names off to make sure no one was left out because she is inconveniencing everyone.
Last night at dinner, I learned all sorts of new words – and can now swear in Japanese thanks to my very disgusted and very pissed off coworkers 
(disgusted at principal and vice principal – just to clarify – not the girl)
I have a grump.
16 Feb 2012 2 Comments
As I mentioned before, this winter I did a meditation retreat. I left the centre with, what I felt, was a new outlook on life, and ideas to make my life better. To pay off debt, reconnect with friends and family, and cut the stress from my life. I made the commitment to staying in Japan another year. I decided I would write the JLPT and sign up for a series of 10ks over the course of 2012. I made plans.
I am really good at making plans. I am good at writing letters too. However, the plans usually just stay on scraps of paper, and I find unsent letters all the time. Basically, I am a big talker. I know this. I try really hard to follow through with things I start, but at the end of the day… not going to lie… I am lazy.
Usually, I don’t care. However, since I know what relaxed and positive feels like now, after the retreat, I am starting to feel EXTREMELY GROUCHY at myself because I am not sticking to my goals. My Japanese studying is non-existent. And, what used to be my once a week intensive study hour on Wednesday, has become ladies coffee evening. Totally my fault, but it is starting to make me really discouraged that my Japanese will never improve. My class planning has been super sucky lately, as, instead of trying to find ways to motivate my bored, lazy students, I am instead catching a case of their laziness and lack of motivation. Exercise? What is that? (Which I am sure is a big reason I am feeling this way).
Anyway, I don’t have anything interesting or constructive to say. No magic fixes. I am just grumpy and have no one to talk about at work about this. I just came from a totally disheartening grade 7 class, where my students barely mumbled hello, refused to do their work, and of course, then failed their test we gave them at the end of the class. And they don’t care. At all. But, instead of me trying to lift their spirits and get them interested, I am just not there. I feel vacant and unsubstantial. I feel so tired from their childish behaviour – YES, I know they are children. A student actually told me to shut up today. I wasn’t angry – more hurt than anything. These same kids loved English a year ago, and now can’t even care to learn how to spell the months.
I am rambling about nothing. I need a hug. Maybe a nap.
WTF 2012? It is mid February? But… I had plans and stuff
14 Feb 2012 1 Comment
John is always telling me that I shouldn’t say I am going to do something. Because I always give up, get busy, get sick, forget, insert excuse here… and then don’t do the thing I said I was going to do. Looking at my list of WILL DO IN 2012 is a joke. I haven’t done any of it. Well, I cut back on coffee. That is a start?
I am not sure where the last 6 weeks have disappeared to. Maybe because we didn’t acknowledge Christmas or New Years this year, it hasn’t really sunk in that it is indeed 2012, and that 2011 is well and truly over. I have fallen off the wagon with exercise – I think I could MAYBE clock 2 hours in the last 6 weeks. Yikes. Considering that I signed John and I up for a 70min max 10k on March 11, I might be in a bit of trouble (that is 2 mins faster than the fastest 10k i did when I was running 20km and up a week).
Oh well… 10 months left to get off my ass I guess…
Excitement in a small town
06 Feb 2012 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: extreme frustration, smoke signs
I feel sometimes, that living in Japan there is never a “norm”. Things are always to the extremes. Extreme highs, extreme lows. Extreme excitement, extreme boredom. Extreme frustration… On the weekend, I had one of those extremely frustrating moments, that I seem to find myself in more and more, and I never manage to extricate myself from them.
On Saturday morning, around 3am, the fire alarm went off. John and I got up, put on warm clothes, and got ready to get out of there – although we first checked for smoke, signs of a fire, etc. and there were none. The alarm went off for awhile, but there seemed to be no movement from the other 2 tenants, so I went to the 2nd floor and saw Mr. Suzuki (another tenant, and coworker) in his bare feet, in the hall. I asked him what was happening and if we should go outside. He said no, it was a false alarm, the firemen would be there soon to shut it off, and we could go back to bed.
So, we went back in our apartment, and waited. The firemen came, checked our apartment, gave the OK, and left.
Fine, incident over. No big deal.
On Saturday, we discovered a LOT of water on the stairwell between floors 3 and 2, and even more between 2 and 1. I was a bit concerned… but as there was more between 2 and 1, I kind of assumed the Japanese speaking tenants who would probably know what to do would take care of it, and so I ignored it. Until about 3pm, when I went outside to get something from the car and had to walk through huge puddles. Boo. So, I called the town hall, told them what was up (basically, my convo was this: “water. water on stairs. much water. problem. please come. water from ceiling. water on floor. danger? problem. please and thanks”).
Nothing happened that day, other than I noticed someone mopped the floor. Still dripping from the stairwell (which is weird… since nothing was wet on third floor)
On Sunday, the fire department showed up in full force (it is a small village… that meant 3 people), to examine all the apartments. They again knocked on the door and proceeded to, in rapid fire polite japanese (this means an extra 2 syllables per word, at least) explain what they thought happened and asked me some questions. At first, I held my own against this barrage of daunting vocabulary, but finally I resorted to unns and ummms and hmms and hais. It was a pretty sad showing. I got the gist, but even after I asked them to slow down… they seemed to speed up and made it even more confusing and frustrating.
So, this is my source of extreme annoyance and frustration. Obviously, something important was going on. They wanted info, they needed me to do something… but instead of talking to me in a simple and slow way, they had to rattle on at me rapid fire as if I was being interrogated. I am contemplating making myself a sign, in Japanese, that says I am a simpleton and hope that helps… you would think from the blank looks and vague, non-committal answers they would get the hint, but alas, that is not the case…
I hate snow.
02 Feb 2012 1 Comment
Yesterday it snowed 45 cm. Yuck. I know, it is pretty, and I can agree with that. But, otherwise, I hate the stuff. It messes up the roads, I never have the right clothes/boots, and even worse, i have to deal with this annoying question every day it snows:
“Does this make you feel more at home, since you are from Canada?”
Really? Every time? This has started to replace the “Oh! Can you use chopsticks!?” as the number one most annoying question asked of me repetitively by my coworkers. I am from Vancouver Island. It is a temperate rain forest, and most recently, I lived on Southern Vancouver Island, in Victoria, which, thanks to a rain shadow has less precipitation than the rest of the island.
In 2010, when the lower mainland had the Winter Olympics, some events were cancelled because of a lack of snow.
When I was a kid, we had a snow day if we had more than 6cm of snow.
In 1996, when we had a freak blizzard (150cm in 2 days!), we had no snowplows to take care of the mess, and the military was out keeping us all in our homes because we are idiots who can’t drive in the stuff.
Anyway, this is a boring blog post, just complaining because I can, and because, I want a snow day! boohoohoo!
Things I miss about Canada
31 Jan 2012 2 Comments
Although I choose to live overseas, and have off and on since I turned 20, there are certain things that I really miss about my homeland. Today I am having a nostalgic day, and want you all to know that TIM HORTONS will not be on that list. (Seriously, those of you brainwashed to think that crappy, environmentally unfriendly AMERICAN OWNED company is a patriotic symbol – well you are ridiculous. 25cents more a cup would make it fair trade. Throw away cups given to those with travel mugs just for roll up the rim? wtf?)
Oh wait, I am seriously digressing. I am NOSTALGIC, not antagonistic. Back on track.
Today I am missing, these things, in no particular order:
- My family
- My friends, and the ability to get together for a drink or a good meal with them
- beets, kale and all the other yummy delights that are not found on this island, but can be found easily on mine
- good, microbrew beer. Phillips, I long for a chocolate porter. Can someone ship me one?
- facial soap that works. Not just bleaches skin (wtf?)
And the biggest thing I miss?
**** NO SMOKING INDOORS. OR NEXT TO DOORS. OR WINDOWS. OR AIR VENTS.
gah. I went to the coffee shop for breakfast, as I do every Tuesday since I take the train to work. Was in and out in 15 minutes – and even though it was an hour ago, I STILL STINK. pee-yew.
I ran into one of the employees of that cafe at another cafe this weekend, and she told me she couldn`t work at that branch anymore because she was pregnant. Seriously? Her company moved her to another one of their cafes that has slightly better ventilation, but still. We have had no smoking in BC for over 10 years. You can even get a fine for smoking in your car with children in it. Get with it Japan.
What did you say??